When the surgeon came to see her on the morning after her operation, the young woman asked her somewhat hesitantly how long it would be before she could resume her sex life. "I really haven't thought about it," gulped the stunned surgeon. "You're the first patient who's asked me that after a tonsillectomy!"
"Why should we take advice on sex from the Pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!" - George Bernard Shaw
A student undergoing a word-association test was asked why a snowstorm put him in mind of sex. He replied frankly: "Because everything does." - Honor Tracy
"My husband's German. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me." — Bette Midler.
What do a dildo and soybeans have in common? They're both used as a meat substitute
"If you don't enjoy masturbation, you only have yourself to blame." - Author Unknown
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